Are Parents Sabotaging Their Children’s Future Relationships?

Written by: Bill Flangin – www.huffingtonpost.com

If you are trying to make your child happy, rather than teaching them to be happy, then you are raising a child whose happiness depends on somebody else. Let that sink in. Your job as a parent is to raise a child that, as an adult, doesn’t need you anymore. If that’s the case, who is going to make your son or daughter happy when they are adults? When you’re not around anymore, or not around as much anyway, who will make your child happy? Will that job fall to their spouse someday? That’s a tough job to fill. And it’s setting them up for failure.

The best way to raise a happy kid is to be happy yourself. Model a type of meaningful happiness that isn’t dependent on a quick-fix. Wherever your happiness journey takes you and your family, be mindful of how you teach your children about happiness. Your children are watching and learning all about happiness from you.

Click here to see more

Time-Sharing in a Parenting Plan: Easter Sunday v. Easter Weekend

Be sure to double check your Parenting Plan or Mediated Settlement Agreement before signing on the dotted line. You may consider the Easter holiday to be the entire weekend, however, be sure the Parenting Plan states that Friday, Saturday and Sunday are included for the Easter holiday. If your Parenting Plan only lists Easter as your day for time-sharing, you may only be entitled to spend Easter Sunday with your child. It is very important in Family Law for the Parenting Plan to be as clear and specific as possible to avoid any future issues or confusion with time-Sharing.

Pensions, Divorce and the Military Retirement System

Article provided by: divorcesource.com

The Military Retirement System provides benefits to members of the uniformed forces. When a Retired Pay Court Order is drafted, monthly benefits will commence to the Alternate Payee when the Member retires, and will continue for the lifetime of the Member. If the Alternate Payee is entitled to a Survivor Benefit Plan Annuity (SBP), such monthly annuity shall commence upon the Member’s death, and continue for the lifetime of the Alternate Payee.

Some Key Facts to Remember:
To draft an order to effectuate a division of a benefit for purposes of equitable distribution, the parties must have been married for 10 years while the member was in active duty. If they have not been married for 10 years of active duty service, the order must be structured to effectuate support payments.

Click here to read more

Divorcees don’t need to afford lifestyle they were accustomed to in marriage

Article written by: Lydia Willgress

Divorcees do not need to be able to afford the lifestyle they were accustomed to in marriage, a Court of Appeal judge has suggested as he rejected an ex-wife’s bid to increase her settlement.

Katriona MacFarlane claimed that she had not been awarded enough to buy a home similar to the £1million country cottage she shared with Dr James MacFarlane, 74. The 58-year-old also claimed she was owed compensation for “abandoning” her teaching career to be “looked after” by the millionaire. But a Court of Appeal Judge on Monday rejected her claims and said the previous living standards of a couple were only a guide when it came to how much an ex-wife or husband deserves.

Click here to see more

Learn More on Adjusting to Divorce

Article provided by: divorcesource.com
Written by: Dr. Percy Rickets, LMHC, NCC

Divorce, can be a very traumatic experience for many adults. Still, it is the children who usually suffer the most when families break up. In the state of Florida, as is the case in many other areas, divorcing parents with minor children and those who are involved in paternity actions are required to complete special parenting classes before their legal actions can be finalized.

Additionally, children of divorce ages 6-17 years are required to complete special groups like the Sandcastles program in some areas. Parents and children consistently attest to the beneficial nature of these programs in helping them adjust to the life-altering process of divorce.

Click here to see more

Debunking 3 Divorce Myths

Article provided by: divorcesource.com

Unless I have “custody”, I will only see my child on the weekend
Regardless of whether there is a primary residence for children, the parties, except under extraordinary circumstances, enjoy shared parental responsibility of their children. This means that both share equally not only in decisions affecting their children, but in their childrens’ lives.

Scorched Earth a/k/a I want everything
This happens in many cases where a spouse feels severely wronged by the actions of the other and thinks that he/she will receive the house, children, etc., while the other spouse will be awarded nothing.. This is not the case as Florida is a no fault divorce state.

The wife always keeps the house
If the home is the only significant asset, allowing one spouse to keep it is an unlikely outcome. Also, in situations where it is not financially possible for either spouse to maintain the home, the judge will likely order the home to be sold.

Click here to read more

10 Tips For Weathering The Holidays Post-Split

Article provided by: HuffingtonPost.com

1. Create New Traditions: “Every Christmas my girls and I selected the day we would celebrate Christmas. We planned new traditions together while they kept the Christmas Day routine at their dad’s.” – Claire N. Barnes.

2. Keep the Family Intact: “Forget the holiday hype and the pressure to create the “perfect” holiday — whether with decorations, gifts or gatherings — and find more meaningful ways to be together as a family while remaining true to the spirit of the holiday.” – Vicki Larson.

3. Be Flexible: “If you don’t have the kids on Thanksgiving or Christmas days themselves, celebrate on another day. Do it up! Flexibility is the key to successful co-parenting.” – Micki McWade.

Click here to see more

How Divorce, Alimony, and Child Support Affect Veterans’ VA Benefits

Written by: Margaret Wadsworth

Each state has its own laws governing divorce, child support, and alimony. But there are also federal laws governing the distribution of veterans benefits, and state family law courts are required to adhere to these laws. Federal law provides certain protections for veterans benefits. Under the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act, VA disability payments are exempt from being treated as marital property and cannot be divided as part of a divorce.

If you fail to make alimony (spousal support) and child support benefits, the state can sometimes order your VA benefits to be garnished. Typically between 20% and 50% of your benefits can be garnished.

Click here to see more

Responsible v. Entitled Parenting

by: Laurie Futterman, www.miamiherald.com

A child learns to be responsible or entitled according to what he or she is rewarded for. To teach responsibility, reward for accomplished behavior. To teach entitlement, reward for something other than accomplished behavior. Divorce also begets entitlement, as warring parents assuage their guilt and vie for their child’s love with material goods.

How do parents create responsible children who learn that their behavior determines their life and that continuous responsible behavior brings positive rewards and freedom? They allow natural consequences to occur as the result of a child being irresponsible. They provide rewards only after repeated consistent behavior rather than after one good deed.

Click here to see more

Problems With Paternity: Fraud To Securing Parental Rights

Written by: Joseph E. Cordell, Huffingtonpost.com, 2/18/16

Paternity fraud as a “National Epidemic”
A major (yet underreported) problem in the United States and much of the Western World is fathers unknowingly — or knowingly in many cases — being required to support children who are not theirs biologically. In fact, studies have found as many as 30 percent of fathers paying child support are not the biological father of the children they are supporting.

Problems for unwed fathers
Unwed fathers are given essentially no legal rights to their children until they formally establish paternity. An unwed mother is assumed to have full physical and legal custody of her children until a father can officially establish paternity; a process that can be convoluted, expensive and time-consuming.

There are numerous different scenarios where paternity can create issues that it is difficult pinpoint exactly where changes need to be made. If you question whether you are the father of a child or are attempting to prove your paternity, speak with an experienced family law attorney immediately to discuss your options.

Click here to see more